or actually just one class in particular. meh.

i wish it was tomorrow night right now.

last night was a lot of fun.


but in other news...

the same way i wish i could go back in time and talk to val from the past, explain to her certain things, let her in on a few secrets so she wouldnt be so damn distraught, i wish future val could make an appearance right now because I have a lot of questions for her.

its ridiculous reading things from my past on here. RIDICULOUS. i love getting older but I don't want it to happen as quickly as it has been. I cannot believe this semester is almost over. It just doesn't add up... what have I been doing for the past 3 1/2 months?!?

I've made a ton of new friends though and I love them. I've also lost some friends. Well actually just one. But of course I can't elaborate on here because the world reads it and perhaps they might too and I just couldn't take it.

I'm afraid of permanence. That's why I can't get a tattoo (which I really want) but also because my mom would wring my neck. But really the permanence thing can apply to anything and everything. I FEED off of change. I need it. It's hard and heartbreaking and horrible. And I feed off it. I am a zombie that eats change.

I've also become impulsive recently. I also don't know how to handle attention.

My hair is getting too long. But I have a haircut appt on Saturday.

My kitten is now 4x as big as I left him and I'm sad I missed his kitten-y stage.

I want an apartment in south.

I LOVE MY ROOMMATES. it's the best miracle that could have occurred. especially after last year's roommate fail.





they are incredible.

halloween was a total flop though this year.

i don't think Brian and I are done for good. I think the break we are taking will make us stronger. Especially since my whole permanence thing is percolating. I can't ruin something that good because I'm nutso.

I need more clothes.
I need things to be OK, because it's always OK in the end.
Not that I want the end to come any time soon.
Bye.

my last post from nearly a year ago stated that not meeting daniel radcliffe was the most disappointing thing in my life. what a simpleton i was! because i knew nothing of true disappointment until 2 weeks ago.

i can't tell if I'm happy or sad anymore so instead i just find comfort in my friends that i know will never desert me or fool me or shit on my face (literally and figuratively of course).

it's thanksgiving and I'm thankful that I haven't literally gone insane. or perhaps I have. and in that case I'm thankful I haven't noticed.

 the most disappointing experience ive ever had was when katie and i went to fuse in nyc to meet daniel radcliffe. and he wasnt. there.


to this day, ive never felt more disappointed.

thats fucked up.

im pretty fucked up!


hahahaa

oh well

 drunk is the new high.

new jersey is boring me.

i want to go back to boston.

i miss my bfwbs

anddd

ben gibbard is still engaged :[






someone lend a hand? i need some smiles :]



heyy

 LOL wow. 
wooow
wooooooow
wow.




hey guys lol


;]


;]



yeah, you know, you know ;]
you know I know
;]




;]




yes, i do


;]

and yes, yes, yes, the answer would be what you are thinking, yep.

:D
:D

its ok, i dont mind



:D

idc if me and justin broke up, the icon for this post is hella hella adorable.
anyway, what I'm really tryina say is

why am i the only person from fair lawn that DOES NOT MISS IT AT ALLLLLL.
i dont want to go home?
i dont miss anyone?
im cynical?
i love change once i get used to it?
??


guess i grew up, no one else did?

??


flhs 08 kids still add me on facebook.........

if i wasn't your friend then, why would i be now?!


i've also got a major crush
on a kid
here
..
thats in other news, btw.

nothing will probably materialize with that......
cause ima poossay with trying to flirt when its a one way thang.



ok its late and im not making sense hah



peace<3





ps. coolio performed the kenan and kel theme song here
my school is 385782375837683769xs better than your school

 i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life.  i love my life. i love my life. i love boston.

 its fucking freezing.
and its only october 23.
wtf am i going to do in the dead of winter?!?!?!
ahh.

bissssssssssssh
blah.


boston<3

of being a kid.

in less than seven minutes ill have to start taking responsibility for my actions

bright side: 

full license

i can vote

i can buy lottery tickets

i can star in a porno

....


of course getting older is exciting, but jeez when i look at it this way its depressing 

6 minutes...

being a kid is amazing! youre carefree, no problems with money, boys, your future, your friends...you dont care what you look like when youre around others.

you're not yet afraid to be yourself, you've got no one to impress.

4 minutes....

now im going to live on my own in a city far from mommy and way farther from daddy...

3 minutes.

This is actually the close of chapter one of my life. starting almost 18 years ago to this date.

2 precious minutes.

120 seconds of innocence left, not that ive been to innocent these few years.

highschools OVER, time to man up.. real life and even bigger problems are lying right around the corner..

1 last minute.

what can i say?
farewell.

thats about all i can think of.

my last thoughts as a child?

here we go, self. goodbye youth.

happy birthday to me.

12:00!






:[



peace.

this spring break is ok,
highly unproductive.

im seeing my dad today though!

aaaand nothing else exciting is happening this week :]
cool.

 

i can't stop listening to the sweeney todd soundtrack!

its actually spring break, i can't believe i made it this far.
its almost may!
which means almost june!
WHICH MEANS NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL!
ahh im so pumped, dear god.

i need to buy craft materials badly
for both my senior scapbook aaaaand graduation party invites :]

and i need an external flash so badly its rediculous.
in fact, im going to get on that now
and find one online.

ta. 

ive made a webcomic page for my balloon drawings :]

ADD IT!!!!!!!

iamballoon 

was hella funky


pictures from prom and other to come! 

is going to be AMAZINGGGGG


helllooooo prom
helllooooo seaside
hellooooooooooooooo  

i can't wait for change!
i've been an obnoxious BITCH this past week, to everyone that even slightly pissed me off.
I told off about 6 people
and snapped at god knows how many more.
i'm sick of being the fucking quiet girl that gets walked on
ain't happening anymore.
especially not by fucking teachers.
i.e mr knudson
whatever though!
i get to tell them ALL how i really feel the night of june 23rd!
and then its off to boston!
away from this shitty place with its shitty people 
that shit.

:] 

is talking business.

im going to boston this weekend.

(and i love justin so much cause hes gonna be rich...-justin)

niggas be hatin on me


and i need a new keyboard 

some creep gave me his number....
eww


and

a big black guy wearing all black with sunglasses and black duffle bag with a concealed weapon (we found out it was a baseball bat) walked around our store staring at people...then stood outside our store waiting for us...


um



ahhh?